Whoever reads my blog knows that I dont like to complain, much less about my daughters, but I need to write this and let this out... Im really worried about Mimi and what Mia is doing to her temper... Mimi is the most adorable little angel, but Mia bothers her so much that Im afraid her temper will change... She already runs in fear when Mia is around and she throws this awful tantrums when Mia pushes her buttons...
Mia is sweet and all fun when she is alone, or when she is in school, but when she is around Gaby or Mimi, she is all biting, hitting, pulling hair, pushing, kicking, or simply hugs and kiss so strong that it hurts the other two, and makes them cry.
Today I got a situation. Preschool was closed due to the new storm Gustav that we have, and I ended up with the three girls at work... Hubby was crazy fixing computers here and there, and the only one that was available to help me out was the school's nurse and she took Mimi for a bit... I didnt want the girls running around, as I didnt want to get in trouble, so I kept them in my office... I gave them food, milk, paper and colors to paint, music, books to read, and they werent even tired as it was around 9:30am, BUT, all Mia wanted was to tease Gaby. She gets easily upset, and Mia was pushing her buttons BADLY (which pushes my buttons, too)... After having them for a bit, I just wanted to cry!!
Mia is sweet and all fun when she is alone, or when she is in school, but when she is around Gaby or Mimi, she is all biting, hitting, pulling hair, pushing, kicking, or simply hugs and kiss so strong that it hurts the other two, and makes them cry.
Today I got a situation. Preschool was closed due to the new storm Gustav that we have, and I ended up with the three girls at work... Hubby was crazy fixing computers here and there, and the only one that was available to help me out was the school's nurse and she took Mimi for a bit... I didnt want the girls running around, as I didnt want to get in trouble, so I kept them in my office... I gave them food, milk, paper and colors to paint, music, books to read, and they werent even tired as it was around 9:30am, BUT, all Mia wanted was to tease Gaby. She gets easily upset, and Mia was pushing her buttons BADLY (which pushes my buttons, too)... After having them for a bit, I just wanted to cry!!
I mean, I couldnt afford my boss to tell me that they were disturbing, and all they wanted was to cry and scream. My mom's regular maid was off for the day and I just didnt had anybody to call or ask for help. Anyway, my mom is having a second maid that goes the two days that the other one is off plus a nurse, as my grandfather is at my mom's house and he needs care 100% of the day. So, I called her, explained her the situation, and even though she was on her way to her job, she picked them up and took them to her house....
I know Mia is on her terrible two's, but sometimes she gets in trouble 5 times in 5 minutes... I have tried to do everything that every book suggests and nothing really works with her... She does have a sleep problem, and I know that can be affecting her, but I have tried everything to get her to sleep earlier and she just wont go to sleep.
Every person that knows me, knows how important it is for me that my girls have a great relationship, and what Mia does to their sisters just breaks my heart... I hope things get better soon, and that they are able to have a healthy relationship when they both grow up a bit....
I dont really know what Im expecting from this post, but I wanted to let it out, even if Im not making much sense... Tomorrow we all have the day off because of the storm, and I hope to have a great day with the girls!
Thanks for reading, if you got to read it this far...
14 Lovely comments :
OH god hunny i feel for you.....on a smaller level though ....my stepson is the same way he is always picking and annoying Fifi when hes here....or he hugs her too hard and she tries to bite him she screams and kicks him.....lucky for me he isnt here all the time. I hope you can find something that helps or maybe try to contact a behavior specialist or something.....Maybe its the "middle child syndrome" .....because I am the middle and I was the same way when I was her age.
Im sure it is the middle child syndrome... Poor child has been throught so much, and have spent a lot of difficult moments in her short life... Remember how I wasnt able to hold her while I was preggo?? and then it must be hard when I came home with "another" baby when she was still a baby... I mean, I do know the reasons why she is like that, but I have done everything possible to give her some extra love and it is not really working... I just hope this is a fase that will pass very soon...
I was/am this close in age to my sister. There were some rough years including punching, kicking, biting but now we are super close. So, um, just wait like 20 years ;)
Sadie: COME ON!!!!!!!!!! 20 years??? Could you lie to me and tell me that it will be better by next year???
I don't have any advise as Savannah is my first child and she is only 14 months so I have no experience in that area yet. I do hope that things get better for you though!
vent away girl, vent away. I hope it is just a phase, i think as she gets older and better understands, things will calm down. At least I hope they do for your sanity sake.
-h
They do have some things like homeopathics remedies .....there is a thing called "hylands" and its a tablet with cammomile to make them calm down ....almost like a tea.....but in the form of a tabley .....this helps with crankiness and hyperness.....i dont know if you would be open to something like that but maybe it would help. I mean it doesnt help with biting and fighting (LOL) but at night it helps for calming down..... here is a link
http://www.hylands.com/products/calms4kids.php
and if you read the formula at the bottom it shows the ingredients and what it halps with
Andrea: Yes, for me, and for Mimi... I dont want her to be scare of being with other kids, or to think that every kid is like that.. kwim??
Heather: Im really positive that things will get better when Mia is 3 and Mimi is 2... I hope Im not dreaming!!!
Erica: Im normally pretty close minded to everything like that, except for a tea that I used that pediatricians recommend in this country, which by the way, didnt worked with her, only with Mimi... Also, she doesnt get sleepy with meds that kids get sleepy, she actually get hyper!! I will read, though... I love to learn!!! TFS!!!
Here is something else I found but i think you have tried most of it
http://parentingmethods.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_middle_child_syndrome
Erica: I printed out the ingredients of the med, and I will discuss it with the girl's nutritionist so he call tell me what he thinks about it.... I will google them too.. I'll let you know....
About the article, it is really good, and yes, I have tried mostly everything even though I couldnt keep up with the individual outing because time is crazy... BUT, I will work out a way to have it even if is not as frequent... I also have to put more effort on ignoring the bad things she does...
Thanks for taking the time to google all this!!! REALLY appreciate it!!!
Hey i got an idea .....Maybe you can make her extra special by giving her a shore to do ....like making her the "BOSS" of the other 2 girls. Like for example ....its Mia's "job" to make sure the other 2 girls have their teeth brushed and get ready their school clothes for the next day. I dont know hoe much of that she will understand since she is 2 .....but its an idea to think about...maybe that way she can feel like she is in charge and very important. Or it can be her "job" to read her sisters a book at night. Make her the "official story teller"
Actually she is always the boss and most of the problems arise when Gaby or Mimi wants to do things different to her, or even hubby and I... BUT, as for the chores, I did talked about with hubby about 2 weeks ago when we saw their teachers have chores and rotate them every week, but we havent done it... Thanks for the reminder!!!
It will get better eventually.
I am always amazed how good my girls can be somewhere else, too, and at home, OMG.
It is really rough on yourself seeing your child struggling and it does hurt you that Mia has such a hard time, especially with her sisters, but sometimes kids just don't know how to act different and they want to do it, but don't know how to express themselves.
Do what you are doing. You love her, you do all you can and if somebody has a good idea, give it a try. Something might work, some not, some might at a later time.
Don't have a bad conscense because you have more children and not as much time for each of time as you want to. With a bigger family I believe each child is getting more attention and love as being a single child. I couldn't imagine anymore Soren just with DH and me.
And there are ALWAYS phases, as soona syou figure one problem out another comes along.
Sorry for the big novel.
Anelys,
Hey, I finaly got around to checking all the blogs ( yea, I suck as a friend) and I read about your girls fighting. I have the same problem. My soution was making them sing a song while holding hands (not the baby, just the older 2). The song goes like this ( to the tune of "If your happy and you know it")
We won't argue with each other any more
We won't argue with each other any more
We won't argue with each other 'cuz we love one another
We won't argue with each other any more
also
We won't fight and hit each other any more.
Works great for my kids!
Jen
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