Things I have learned from parenthood

Before having my own kids there were just stories, books and other people's experiences about having kids. Here is some of my own share from being a mother:

- You cannot buy a book with several stories, or you would end up reading them ALL again and again and again at bedtime.
- You have to eat your food as soon as you cook it and hide in the kitchen, or your kids would end up eating your food and not touching theirs, because "yours is better, mommy".
- You cannot change a diaper on top of your bed, because it stimulates the baby to pee. Instead, change her on the cold floor, and she wont feel the need to pee.
- There arent enough ways to explain that they are allowed to cry, but not allowed to scream.
- That a band-aid can cure just about everything.
- The cheaper a toy is, the more the would love it…. Or simply an empty box with nice wrapping paper would do.
- There wont ever be a visit to the park with a happy ending, because there would always be at least one of them crying “because that wasn’t enough time”.
- You cannot have sex when all the kids fall asleep, if you dont want them to "sense" it and wake up.
- You can never guess when to buy two of the same, or two different, because if they are different they would want the one that the one has, but if they are the same, they will complain about getting the same thing two times.
- You can lie in front of them, or they would make you ask the earth to eat you when they say: “That’s not true, it happened like this…“.
- You can never say you know how they will react to something, because you will be surprised!
- You can never say the whole truth about their behavior in the preschool application. They act different in school and they would make you look like you don’t know them.
- Don’t ever forget to brush her teeth, or wash her hands after going potty, because they would tell their teachers about it.
- That water sprays have a super power to kill monsters.
- That Barney is actually a sweet dinosaur that teaches my daughters good things, instead of that annoying purple thing that I thought he was before having kids.
- That sleeping through the night with a young baby means a whooping 6 hours, and after the baby stage is past and into toddlerhood there is no such thing as sleeping at least 8 hours straight, as at least one of the girls is going to need something in the middle of the night (either pee, water, the killing monster spray, a hug, a kiss, etc etc etc).
- That the things without kids are not going to be as fun as they used to be, just because you cant do them with them.
- That you don’t need money to have fun, and there is nothing better for hours of fun than Arts and Crafts with rice, wheat, beans, and a little bit of creativity.
- That you can love a child more than anything in the world and that is really be true, and not just something that people say. That the love is so big that there is nothing better than seeing life through your child eyes, and that there is nothing more genuine and pure that their laugh and love.
- That there is not a perfect way to be a mother, but however you are, they would love you, trust you and care for you more than anything in the world.